A Woman’s Name

One day, my mother told me that one of her acquaintances’ son will get married. Since her friend already a widow, people used to called her as Mrs. B (her husband name).

I simply asked my mother, “do you know her exact name?” and my mom couldn’t remember what’s her “girl’s name”.

I told her, “mom, you’re lucky most of people knew what’s your name.” it’s because my mom is a teacher. Students call her name, not my father’s. And so did other people.

When a woman got married, in some countries she’ll get her husband’s last name replacing her previous family name. But, in Indonesia (esp. Javanese), people simply call a wife with her husband name. So, instead of using her real name, suddenly she’s been called with a manly name :)

Then many years will go by, people won’t call her with other name but her husband’s name. Though the husband already passed away. How long a woman wear her real name? Until before she’s married, I guess. After that, she’s been somebody’s wife or somebody’s mother.

That’s why, the Bank will ask your mother’s name as “secret code” of your account confirmation. Not many know the answer.

What’s the matter? Nothing.

But it’s quite an important issue for me, if you ask. I just simply want to hold my very own name until I died :)
It’s not about dominating someone or so. I proud of my name and want to be called with it. What should I do then?

I think I should have a job enabled me to use my name: writer, reporter, lecturer, doctor, or teacher could be one of it.

You know, they said, “tiger dies leaving its stripes, elephant its ivory. But people die leaving his/her name.”



Satu respons untuk β€œA Woman’s Name”

  1. Jadi inget perjalanan yang belum lama ini ke ujung timur Indonesia: nginap di sebuah wisma, pengelola wisma dari keluarga Jawa, well satu kebetulan primer mereka berasal dr Jogja, dan si Ibu, saat saya tanya nama, minta dipanggil “Bu Tejo” saja–merujuk nama suaminya. Yaps. Sampai kini, kalau lagi iseng mengingatnya, saya penasaran siapa nama Ibu yang Sering Mengucapkan Sesuatu yang Simpel dengan Bahasa Inggris itu… :Dg

Jadi, bagaimana menurutmu?

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